Jealous occurs when you start feeling negativity when other person succeeds or jewel and you have that kind of feeling inside which makes you feel insecure. Jealousy is a common phenomenon and can have various forms. Before we go on to establish what forms are common for jealousy, it is important to know that excessive envy can lead to a disastrous end of any relationship and so it must be kept under control.
Jealousy Due to lack of Material Goods is one of the most common forms of jealousy. This is experienced by people of all ages, all around the globe at some point of their life or another. Take the example of a school going kid. If a certain type of cartoons is popular, it is inadvertent that their accessories will be consumed by children. If the parents, for some reason or another cannot buy their child the accessories that all his other school fellows have, the kid will experience a jealousy, wanting to have the toys that his friend have.
Ways to Stop Being Jealous
- Ignore other People Success
Don’t get into thinking why other people are successful and you are not. Try to find your inner strength and focus on your weakness. Improve the areas in which you believe you have low points and success will follow you soon. Ignoring other people’s success is a first step to avoid jealousy.
- Avoid Making Comparisons
This is the most common form of jealousy. We individuals tend to make comparisons what other people have and we don’t. Remember, if you are comparing yourself, you are insulting yourself. It would be quite foolish to aspire for those things which you don’t have rather than enjoying your life with those things which you possess.
It’s just sheer luck that some people are born of rich parents and they don’t need to compromise on certain things. As someone said, “Comparison is the seed and jealousy is the fruit!”. The more you will compare, the more you will lose self confidence, the more you will get jealous and make your life hell.
- Be Happy in other People’s Achievements
Don’t get distress or angry when other people achieve heights which you aimed for. Wish them luck and maintain contact with them for future reference. Celebrate with them in their success. If you don’t celebrate with them today, they won’t be with you in your good times too.
- Jealousy Kills Relationships
Relationships are based on mutual trust and love. By getting jealous, you are creating a line of discomfort between both of you. For e.g.: If your child doesn’t have toys than what your neighbor’s have, you need to work on this problem. One way to work on this form of jealousy is to make the child aware of the circumstances. He must be told why his parents can’t provide him the toys and the reasons should be logically explained. This conditioning is very important in helping fight jealousy off.
- Find Your Core Strength
Look inside yourself and list down your strengths and unique qualities. Each individual is unique and possess some strength and qualities different from others. Knowing your strengths and harnessing them is a first step towards a jealousy free life. You need to remember it’s just you who is going to look for the core strength and nobody from outside will come and help you in finding your strength and qualities. “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney
- Shift Focus
Alter your focus from jealousy and try to find out how other people have achieved success where you have failed. If still that doesn’t help, work out on your hobby. Keep yourself busy with it. Remember, if you are doing anything that you like, you are definitely going to be successful in that and that will help you to avoid jealousy. Reality will son going to change when you will see that there is a section of people in this world who doesn’t even have access to basic amenities which you enjoy. When you will think about them, the jealousy of not having what others have will expire soon.
- Feel Jealousy
To overcome jealousy, you need to actually feel it. Just accept the fact that you have failed to get hold of things which other people have achieved. You need to analyze the situation and jot down the points which led to your failure. This can only happen if you have guts enough to see other people what you desired all our life. When you will face the jealousy directly, that feeling will slowly start to diminish. In short, feel jealousy to avoid jealousy.
“To overcome jealousy, just see how the jealousy came into your system, just analyze the sequence of thoughts and emotions in your system and then undo it by reasoning out the whole process with your intelligence.”
– Swamiji Nithyananda
- Look out for the Threat
You need to ask yourself “Why I am getting threatened”? Why can’t I achieve things which I desire? Why I am feeling so insecure? Thins about the picture from the top and try to get the broad view of it. Once you get all the answers, jot them down on the paper and ask yourself what you can do to avoid those threats.
- List out Things
If you are one of the people who prefer to think logically, it’s better to write things on paper. By writing it down on the paper you will clearly able to analyze the whole situation and will get to know the reason behind you getting jealous. This way you will have clear picture in front of yourself. Later, dig deep into those things and find what remedy you can take to avoid those situations in future to occur. Once done, make sure you follow them else this will occur repeatedly.
All these things help discourage envy. It is important to realize that the emotion, like other emotions of fear, happiness and grief cannot be eliminated. In the human range of emotions, it is fairly common. The idea is not to expect jealousy to be entirely vanquished but to ensure that it doesn’t develop into something that has the potential to harm other people. Statistics show that a lot of crimes are committed in jealous rage. People kill others in suspicion that they were having an affair with their spouse or they attempt to gain money by illegal means in order to show off among people they are jealous of.
Jealousy is a very negative emotion and it is extremely important to control it. Control is everything: it can help you to direct your jealousy in a positive direction. It can even encourage healthy competition. Let’s take the example of two students; one that always gets the better grades. Now the second student feels envious but is in control of his jealousy.
The control prevents him from attempting something stupid and avoid jealousy. Instead he decides to work hard, pay extra attention in the class and prepare better for exams. The results begin to show and eventually his grades match up with the other student. This is a case scenario where directed feelings of jealousy can be transformed into something positive and this is what you should aim for.